If you tuned into your body right now, can I ask you: Is there anything bothering you? Before reading on, I ask you to stop and really ask yourself this question. Is there anything weighing heavy on your mind? If there isn’t right this very moment, that is absolutely wonderful. Honestly, this post may not resonate with you today. However, regardless of whether there is an issue immediately pressing on you, chances are you have been faced with some type of struggle at some point in your life. We all have them.
The funny thing about stuff that bothers us is that it really has nothing to do with the person/issue/thing we are upset about. I am currently reading A Course in Miracles and one of its teachings, that I did not understand initially, is that we are never upset for the reason we think. In other words, what we feel is wrong isn’t actually the cause of our pain. I want to attempt now to explain what this means because I understand the brain has a hard time with that one. The brain might ask, “Are you telling me that I am not upset because my friend lied to me, my boss yelled at me, fill-in-the-blank…because I sure was happy before THAT happened?”
That’s how it goes. We are all trying to be happy, until someone or something goes and ticks us off. Clearly it is their fault we are upset. Clearly. Right? If only that other person wasn’t so stupid, rude, selfish, clueless, etc….my life would be so much better. Ahhh…the luxury of being able to blame someone else for our upset. Wow, does blaming feel good to our egos. The feelings of righteousness, victimhood, and indignation. Our egos love them. Egos love to tell their story of how they or someone else they love were wronged, or how crazy the world is. It provides an illusory sense of power during a time when we are experiencing pain. It allows us to project the issue onto someone else so we don’t have to deal with our own stuff. When you look at it, it is really a form of self-denial. We are fooling ourselves into believing the issue has nothing to do with us, when really it has EVERYTHING to do with us. It has everything to do with us, because if it didn’t it would not bother us. It is that which bothers us that reveals the areas inside of ourselves that need to heal…the dark spaces that need to be brought to the light.
To understand this message better let me use the act of judging another person. Think of somebody that is living their life in a way you look down upon. When we judge another we essentially put ourselves above them in some way. It can be as silly as judging someone because their shoes don’t match their top. It is interesting to learn that when we judge another, we are really judging ourselves. It has absolutely nothing to do with that other person. We are saying that if that quality existed in ourselves, we would not love that part of ourselves. Everything we negatively judge in another is an aspect of ourselves we have neglected to love. Ultimately, our goal is to love ALL of ourselves so we can be whole, fulfilled beings. That is the meaning of self love. Therefore, judging another is a red flag to you where you are not loving yourself.
The universe is intelligent beyond comprehension. What that means is that it knows the spaces inside of yourself that need healing, and it is conspiring to make that healing occur. It is working in your favor and for your highest good. It knows all of the fears that do not serve you, that you have been trying to ignore. What that means it that a lot of things are going to piss you off before you realize they are opportunities to heal and release the things that are blocking your capacity to love. Self-limiting beliefs, self-denial, self hate…they all gotta go. What that means is that it may not FEEL like your highest good when they are happening. For some, it may feel like the world is a giant land of idiots all sent here to ruin your day. This could not be further from the truth. The world is rather a land of teachers all sent here to help you heal and love yourself. Essentially, you can think of the world like a mirror. A mirror that reflects back to you your inner state of being. Anything that seems wrong in the mirror is an opportunity for you to see what needs healed and released inside of yourself.
That being said, I know it isn’t always easy. Our first reaction when something causes us pain is to want to remove that thing from our life. We want to hit the virtual delete button. We mistake the external issue as the source of the pain, and thus, mistake its removal as a solution. But, I understand why you would want to remove it. It isn’t easy facing our stuff. It can be extremely uncomfortable. It can very painful to face the fears we have worked so hard to cover up and ignore. Sometimes it feels easier to ignore it, to blame someone else, to lie to ourselves. It can be terrifying to realize that you are ultimately responsible for everything you have been avoiding, projecting, or ignoring.
Understanding all of this does not take away the pain. The only thing that takes it away is bringing it up to the surface for release. Think of pain and fear like a closed door inside of ourselves. When we open up that door to look inside we feel the pain we have worked so hard to keep hidden away. However, once the door is opened, light is able to fill that space inside of you. By opening all your inner doors, love is able to flow throughout your entire system. We are essentially clearing away our blockages to love. When that happens, very little bothers you. You become more tolerant of differences in others and yourself. Love abides where there was once fear.
And after everything, what we come to learn is that all of the fears we clung onto were just misperceptions. Lies that we believed that were never actually true. Delusions that made us forget the awesomeness of who we really are…but that is for another post. Love to you.
Life doesn’t happen TO you. Life happens FOR you.” —Panache Desai