As much as we try to live in happiness, suffering seems to be an inevitable part of life. It can be a crazy world where bad things can happen to good people and it hardly ever seems fair. Things we love get lost, people pull out in front of us driving 10mph, and women get their periods. Suffering can occur in different degrees, ranging from a spilled milk to the worst thing you could possibly think of. It is enough to drive you mad. We think to ourselves “haven’t I been a good person? Why is this happening to me?” Somewhere inside of us we think life should be fair and “bad” things should only happen to those that we deem deserve it. We assume that the unexplainable, negative events that happen to us surely have to be some form of punishment. It is enough to throw your mood for your entire day, or possibly your entire life. When this happens, we allow ourselves to become victims.
What does that mean we become a victim? First, let me say that we all visit this place. We take on this mindset when we believe that something outside of us is responsible for our state of mind. I would have been in a great mood, had that person, thing, event not ________ (fill in the blank). Simply put, something outside of ourselves ruined what would have been a perfectly great existence. Without that something that happened, we believe we would have been absolutely fine. While this may or may not be true, we cannot know for sure as it is not what happened. To live in the dream of what should have happened will only pull you away from your life NOW. Furthermore, it does us no good to live in a state of blame. When we believe what happened was the fault of something outside of ourselves, we believe we cannot take responsibility for how we respond. This does not mean that we should blame ourselves either. I am suggesting that we move past the idea of blame altogether and begin moving into a state of acceptance. By doing so, we take back our personal power and thus our ability experience the beauty of life around us.
Acceptance is the state of being open to, rather than resisting, life. It is recognizing that something has happened and allowing it to be whatever it is. We release our need to control or resist. As Eckhart Tolle said, “If the shutters are closed, the sunlight cannot come in.” We open ourselves up to accepting the NOW so that more of our inner light can shine through. It is not saying that what happened is okay, it is a removal from any kind of judgment. Judgment will only keep us trapped in our egos. We accept because we do not always know why things happen the way that they do. We must have faith that life will give us whatever we need for our own personal growth. Even when our limited minds can’t understand the reasoning, God is on our side and has our best interest at heart. When we accept our life, we let go and let God.
Let go and let God.
One of the things I find that helps me to accept when things don’t go my way is to trust in God’s plan. All stress comes from non-acceptance of what is. Maybe that person cut me off so I would avoid an accident down the road? Maybe not. We may never know the reasoning. What I have always been captivated by is the synchronicity of life; when seemingly unrelated circumstances fit together in a perfect, divinely inspired plan. Such as the story of the person who woke up sick on the morning of 9/11 and had to call off. What might have seemed like a stroke of bad luck surely didn’t seem too bad by the day’s end. Some call it a coincidence. What I have learned is that there is no such thing. Everything is perfect. In the words of Wayne Dyer, spiritual teacher, “There’s no coincidence. In fact, coincidence itself is a mathematical term. Remember in geometry, they would say that two angles that coincide, fit together perfectly – so now we’ve taken a term that means ‘two things that fit together perfectly’ and interpreted it to mean ‘something that fits together accidentally.’ We’ve just reversed the whole concept of coincidence – it’s co-in-side.”
To more deeply understand the concept of accepting what is, and thereby releasing any need for judgment, I leave you with an animated video created by Spirit Science. This realization has helped me immensely in being in a state of acceptance.